Comments on: Back when men were men, and so forth

By: kav

kav — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 08:23:34 +0000

Paddy: Think this was meant for the other post, but I know what you mean.

Rambling Man: You just reminded me of a story Linzi’s parents told me (proudly) about when they were courting. They were travelling by motorbike way up the north of Scotland, late at night, exhausted and they finally came to a B&B. However, the guy only had a double bed left…so they got back on the bike and drove another 20 miles to find another B&B that had separate beds…

By: Rambling Man

Rambling Man — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 19:58:20 +0000

different times is right !

i remember my father telling me stories of him and my mum coming to stay in my grandparents house when it was empty and having to ask one of the neighbours to chaperone them by sleeping in the same room as my mother … open doors, trust and you could do anything as long as you weren’t having sex or enjoying yourself or both !

By: Paddy

Paddy — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 09:55:56 +0000

If you’re not in what you do 100% of the time, you’re out of it, and if you’re out of it, you’re not in it….if you get me drift.

By: kav

kav — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 09:13:02 +0000

Cowcockies? I’m afraid to ask.

By: Jagd Kunst

Jagd Kunst — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 07:46:06 +0000

I had my monitor raised today by threatening them with a call to occupational health and safety (OSH).

The manager came along and put a carboard box under it.
“D’ya really wanna put a $5000 piece of equipment on a cardboard box?” I queried. He shrugged. “your loss mate.”

The only old time stories we can get down here are from cowcockies and old drug addicts.

By: kav

kav — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 07:33:43 +0000

Twenty, I don’t doubt it. A guy I work with recently got back from Spain and the hotel he stayed in was getting work done. He said the whole site setup would have had British workmen walking out on strike, it was so dangerous.
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looby: Holy shit that is horrible. Thinking of the split-second decision that lad must’ve had to make…horrrendous.
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sam: Jesus. Don’t know why I’m surprised though. I saw the way the Puerto Rican guys I worked with were treated. Hired and fired remorselessly.
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kara: I know what you’re saying. The world of IT compliance is similar, though I imagine probably slightly less risky than your line of work. I hope you’ve got good insurance.
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flirty: Don’t you know by now that I never finish anything that I start? I always hit a blank and then
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Sassy: Yes, believe it or not, in front of the kids and in front of L’s family, I’m a nice boy. They’re quite religious. Where I would say “Sweet suffering mother of fuck”, they would say “Jings”.
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Lela: I don’t keep the laughter in, I just snort and try to explain it to him. He still doesn’t get the concept though. “What time does that internet open, kav? I’m looking to buy a new set of chisels from Screwfix.”
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Karen: Oh sweet Jesus how I wish this were true. Unfortunately, it’s not. Linzi’s family, herself excepted, are all devoutly religious, and they simply do not swear. We heard her sister saying “fuck” in anger once and were speechless with surprise.

You should’ve seen our wedding day. 60 foul-mouthed Irish cunts descending on a Scottish castle for the day to get hammered and meet the other side. I implored them to tone down their use of “fuck” to no more than once a sentence. Didn’t happen.

We have somehow managed to keep a lot of secrets from L’s family over the years. Her parents genuinely believe she was a virgin when we got married, ridiculous as that sounds. Not that she was a slut or anything. Right, I’ll get my coat.
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Bock: No, he’s been “retired” almost twenty years. In the late 80’s, his best mate who he was in business with was an alcoholic who destroyed their business right under his nose without him noticing (he was a worker, but no accountant). Then, in 1992, bankrupt and in a new (much smaller, crappier) house, he fell off the roof of his garage and paralysed himself. He’s got partial feeling back in his limbs, but there’s no way he could work again. The stories he told me about were from the fifties and sixties back when Lanarkshire still had those big dirty industries. The latter half of his life, when he went into business for himself, was dominated by the building trade as opposed to industry.

By: Bock the Robber

Bock the Robber — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 22:52:29 +0000

It wasn’t a different time. It was now. The guy is only retired five years.

By: Karen

Karen — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 22:19:11 +0000

“Her parents don’t know I swear”

Ha! Of course they do. And what’s more, when YOU leave after visiting, they probably spend ten minutes standing in their front room yelling “fuck arse tit cunt bollix balls” because THEY’VE been holding it in all day, trying to make you believe they don’t swear either!

It’s a funny old world.

By: Lela

Lela — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 21:12:44 +0000

How do you keep from laughing when he asks you to drive him to the internet? At least he doesn’t call it the “internets” like some idiot politicians here in the US do.

By: Sassy Sundry

Sassy Sundry — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 21:04:05 +0000

Jeepers! You can keep your potty mouth under control?

Holy crap, though. Those were the working days, weren’t they? Yikes.

By: irishflirtysomething

irishflirtysomething — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 19:40:11 +0000

Sorry to deviate for the guts and glory stories but when can we look forward to the next episode of the Kav western?

By: Kara

Kara — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 19:35:04 +0000

Well, I don’t know how things are in Scotland, but that shit happens ALL THE TIME in my office. E-mail marketing is a vicious vicious business. It really is a good thing I’m amazingly brave.