Breaking News: BA Baracus finally gets on plane.

August 16, 2006 at 7:14 pm | Posted in fiction, nonsense | 2 Comments

In a bold move which his therapist described as a “significant breakthrough”, BA Baracus has willingly boarded a plane for the first time since 1974. In a brief press conference this morning prior to boarding his flight, Baracus claimed he would “pity the fool” who questioned his reasons, but cited Hannibal’s death in 1994 at the hands of Osama Bin Laden as one of the most significant influences on his change of heart.

Baracus claims his move to fly was heavily influenced by the jibba-jabba of Bin Laden, and gave an indication that he may personally step up the War on Terror: “These crazy dang thunderlizards gonna wish they never messed with me. If I got a hold of them, I’d pity myself just for bein with those fools.”

Speaking in a solemn, growling baritone about his friend and mentor, Baracus announced “Hannibal always loved it when a plan came together – I just wish he could’ve been here to see me get on a plane for the first time since I got shot down in ‘Nam”. Baracus was challenged about this by several journalists, who claimed he was captured on camera numerous times in the mid-80’s travelling on planes while under the influence of sedatives which had been dissolved in his favourite beverage, milk. BA, however, angrily refuted such claims, and strongly suggested that the journalists should not give him any back-talk.

After dispensing pity to three fools, Baracus boarded the Airbus A380 with no obvious signs of trepidation, and subsequently jetted off to New York City, where it is believed he will spend the next six weeks playing himself in a Broadway adaptation of his life.

See also: Baracus gets on Plane, Nerves



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  1. “Hannibal always loved it when a plan came together…”

    Bin Laden liked it when planes came together….

    sorry, durka durka.

  2. Peculiar article, exactly what I was looking for.

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