All you Bob lovers are gonna hate me.

October 6, 2006 at 2:29 pm | Posted in moans, nonsense, random | 20 Comments
An Ode to Bob Dylan

I bought Blonde on Blonde to give you a chance,
but several listens have not changed my stance;
although you’re something of a poet
you just can’t sing a fucking no-et,
so you’ve given more fuel for my rants.

You’re worshipped like a deity by many a dad,
and they’ll say “this is sacrilege” and call for my lad
to be lopped off and nailed
to a tree, or be jailed,
but if you ask me, they’ve all just been had.
The voice of a generation you may’ve been,
but to me you’re all groaning and spleen.
Your words are just great
but I can’t help but hate
your voice – you shouldn’t be heard, only seen.

A shit cadence to the rhyming, admitted, but I think it makes my point. If you disagree with me, then why are the covers of his songs invariably better than the originals? Eh? Eh? No matter what you say, I’ll just respond with “All along the watchtower”.

No, not the U2 version, fucker.

In other news, I urge you to try these:


I salivate just looking at the packaging.


Enjoy your weekend.

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20 Comments »

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  1. You could be a rap star with your rhyming skills.

    I’ll try the chips, they look good!

  2. They’re not chips!

    Anyways, why must you constantly mention your lad, Kav? It’s like you’re obsessed with it. Or him. Little Kav. Frankie Boy. The Galway ballsway.

    Anyway anyway, yeah. Bob Dylan’s a twat. Plus he’s tiny. That’s why he has to sing through his nose, you know. Not enough windpipe.

  3. summer: I was about to tell you they aren’t chips, they’re crisps, but The Swearing Lady beat me to it! When will you Americans learn. you know, I was almost going to be a rapper before I found my true calling in IT.

    TSL: I just like saying “lad”. It’s got so many uses – lad as in “fellow”, or lad as in “dick”, or lad as in…

    Well, two uses.

    Oh, and thanks so much for blowing my cover and telling the world my name. Now I’m totally fucked. 🙂

  4. I never said it was your name, Cecil. You’re the one who pointed out it was your name!

  5. Ah sure I’m only coddin ya Maggie.

  6. Well My Lad,
    I haven’t seen Walker’s brand chips – damn! I mean crisps before. My fat ass needs em like I need a fat ass. (I like that turn of phrase).

    I don’t get the Bob hype either.

  7. Is chili spelled wrong or is that how its spelt in the U.K.?

  8. Damn. Like the great Jaffa Cakes search of 2005, I now have to search the specialty foods stores in the US for Walkers Crisps. Damn you, Kav.

  9. Yes, Desirae, chili is spelled wrong. Unless they’re trying to do a whole play on words thing, and say that you can chill out while eating the chips.

    They’re chips.

    neener neener neener.

  10. Fucking hell, I heartlessly mock one of the greatest musical influences of the 20th century, and all you guys can talk about is chips.

    Wait, I mean crisps.

    And the spelling is another discrepancy between here and there. Like the way you guys spell colour, favourite and valour wrong.

  11. you shouldn’t be heard, only seen.

    I beg to differ. That is a man who has a face for radio.

    But you’re dead on about Bob. Great songwriter, lousy singer.

  12. I agree with you dude. He can write but he can’t fucking sing to save his life.

    I feel the same about Lou Reed.

  13. Dammit, you two, it was typed out of habit!

    -If I had said crisps, you might have made fun of me for trying to be like you.
    -If I stay with chips, I’m true to my egomaniacal American way of trying to make everyone else be like us, I mean me.

    *evil laugh*

  14. “all along the watchtower” rocks. and like you said, the jimi version.

    one of the best covers of a song ripped from a guy i don’t like to listen to to an artist(s) i love …

    “the ghost of tom joad” by rage against the machine.

    it’s so great, i made it a gay-ass ringtone.

    e+

  15. Good writer, bad singer, and freaky as fuck looking.

  16. Great writer, bad singer, but it works for me. Maybe I just am a old school throwback but me and my many dylan albums will just continue to groove on. Plus the man is a comic genius. “I shall be free #10” can make anyone fall on the floor with laughter. “I sat my monkey on the lawn and order him to do the dog. He wagged his tail and shook his head, then he went and did the cat instead. He’s a weird monkey. Very funky.”

  17. I need the crisps. I need them. Why don’t they sell them in the US?

  18. fat sparrow: In their complexity, my words were trying to say that his songs should be read as poems, not listened to as music…but yeah, I agree with you too.

    duckworth: Lou Reed – excellent observation.

    summer: You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t, when you come here. You know I’ll just take up the opposite stance to you just to be contrary. 😉

    eric: Agreed – although I admit I quite like Springsteen. I have the RATM version as well – think it was on this compilation CD called No Boundaries done for Kosovo fugees or something. OR maybe it’s on Renegades? Can’t remember, and too lazy to look!

    HDW: You’re the second person to say that – I must get me a look at him. Haven’t seen any recent pics.

    natalie: Opinion respected, etc, but I still think he sounds like turd. Great lyricist though, as you prove with those lines.

    debbie: Summer might be Paypaling me some money so I can buy some stuff here and post it over to her. You’d be welcome to do the same.

  19. you’re right. it’s renegades.

    e+

  20. neeer is a cunt!


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