Party like it’s 1999

November 3, 2006 at 11:03 pm | Posted in nonsense, tales of youth | 17 Comments

Updated below, where it says Update.


I found this this evening when a load of crap fell over and spilled everywhere in our little office-cum-crap-receptacle. One of the clubs in Galway held these events called Shite Nite on Bank Holidays, Christmas and such. The object of Shite Nite was that you would get in to the club free and get cheap drink if you wore a shite costume. This is the one and only time I dressed up for Shite Nite – December 1999. I was meant to be some sort of Miami Vice cunt. All the clothes I’m wearing are my dad’s – authentic 1980’s white shoes and all.

How shiny is that suit? Huep.

If you look closely you can see the middle finger of my right hand is bandaged. That’s because I worked in a pet shop at the time and sliced the tip of my finger off while I was cleaning out a fish tank. Feckin pirahnas.

Have a good weekend. I probably won’t, but I’m not going to turn this post into a moan about broken boilers and tracing leaks in central heating systems.

Update (Saturday): I’m feeling all manly and useful because I successfully located the leak and fixed the central heating/hot water problem in one fell swoop. I was hoping to get sex as a reward for saving hundreds of pounds on plumber’s bills, but the conversation went kind of like this:

“I’m your hero, you know.”

“Yes, you are my hero. Thank you for fixing the heating.”

“And the water.”

“Mmhm, and the water.”

“Any chance of an oul -” *At this, I raise my eyebrows and nod suggestively at my lad*

“No way Kav, I’m still sick with a cold, and I feel like I need to spew as well.”

“Well, you could try giving me a blowjob – that would probably help you to vomit.”

“No. You’re a sick disgusting fucker.”

You can’t blame a chap for trying.

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17 Comments »

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  1. What is this, flash around embarassing pics day?

    Steve~

  2. Howya Steve, welcome. So who else is posting stuff? I need linkage.

  3. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you just DID whinge about your weekend.
    *slap*

    Go and get drunk. That improves everything.

  4. Kav lad, you’re bending my shite, I thought you Irish were always upbeat, “to be sure its just a wee potato famine, should be over by christmas”.
    I’ll come over and fix yer hoose if you’ll be my best friend for a year, me last one died violently and suddenly, I wouldn’t have gotten him into a fight if I knew he couldn’t fight, you think about it.

  5. G’way outta that..that’s your casual Friday outfit isn’t it?
    It really is very fetching Kav and a true testament to your sartorial sophistication.
    The only way it could get better would be if there was a Testarossa outside with a couple of kilos of charlie.

  6. I’d roll my eyes at Steph, if I had any.

    I don’t remember this shite night malarkey. Then again, I’m young and you’re old.

  7. Well, we can see now why you get all the women on your blog.

  8. steph: I did, but just a little. And I’m in a good mood now because I fixed it. I’m a simple creature at heart.

    old knudsen: I have no best friend here in Scotland, so you automatically get the job. You should be warned that I talk fierce shite, but you prob already know that.

    devin: If I could’ve afforded said items, I would definitely have gone the whole hog.

    Sweary: You play nice now. Surely you must remember Shite Nite in GPO? Ask flutt, she’ll know. You just weren’t cool enough.

    And I’m only two years older than you for fuck’s sake.

    Slim Pigeon: Women only comment here to placate me so I won’t harass them further.

  9. I got on board for the flashing embarrasing pics. Now stop whining at me, okay? Deeds done. I’m gonna go hide under the bed for the next, oh, year and a half.

  10. I love your wife’s response. She’s my kinda gal!

  11. I would have thought that, having fixed the heater, you could have run your wife a nice warm bath, let her soak and relax, then climbed in and played Cave Diving.

    You youngsters have so much to learn

  12. My plumber tried similar patter on me when he fixed my leaking boiler the other day. I cleaned his pipes for him. I mean his clock.

  13. At least you weren’t serious about the blow job (I hope?). My ex-husband would ask me “What’s for dinner?” after I had had a stomach bug, and he would actually mean it. Oh, and then there’s the time he wanted to know why couldn’t I mow the lawn? I only had pneumonia, for fuck’s sake.

  14. taihae: Nothing to be embarrassed about there. Looks like a good one.

    fyrchk: I’m lucky she has such a high tolerance for irritation, or I would be dead.

    kim: You know, I thought of that, but for some reason my idea was more appealing…

    foot eater: Welcome to you sir. And good man – I’m going to show this to Linzi and say, see, foot eater shows his gratitude, why can’t you? I think that should definitely work.

    fat sparrow: I wasn’t serious, but at the same time, there’s no harm chancing your arm to see what might happen…

    And as for the Spouse Sparrow’s requests – I’m still not sure what you’re getting so annoyed about? They seem like reasonable requests to me…

    *ducks the frying pan flung at my head*

  15. Good to see romance isn’t dead Kav!

  16. I think you’d better re-examine that marriage contract, Kav. Isn’t “love, honour and go down…” in there somewhere?

  17. That’s the EX Spouse Sparrow, Kav. There’s a reason why he’s an ex.

    See, I drug myself outta my deathbed, just to come and talk to you.


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