Men and women different, survey announces.

December 11, 2006 at 9:25 am | Posted in family, fun at work, nonsense | 16 Comments

I could tell you all about how my exam went. How I’ve realised that I am never going to be arsed going for a MBA since I just about managed ten weeks studying for a relatively minor qualification, never mind three years of slog for a Master’s. How I have absolutely no idea, in spite of the effort I put in, whether I have passed or failed the exam. How I now have a fucking cunting bastard of a cold choking me up, despite resisting my family’s best attempts to give it to me over the past month. Christ, as soon as I relax, my immune system lets me down.

Yes, I could tell you about these things. And just did.

Last night we were watching Grey’s Anatomy, and yer wan (the main bird in it who Linzi thinks is beautiful but who I think’s nothing special – give me the wee blondie any day) and yer man (the dorky stocky lad who never gets the girl and always gets left in the corridor holding a clipboard with a slightly incredulous look on his face) were about to shag:

Me: Go on ya bye ya. Give it to her.

Linzi: Noooooo! No no no no no!

Me: What’s wrong with ya? He’s about to slip it in to her, that’s a good thing, is it not?

Linzi: She doesn’t want him, she’s only doing this because she’s feeling lonely and insecure! Jesus, have we been watching the same programme?

Me: Gah?

Linzi: She’s still in love with McDreamy! She doesn’t love George, even though he loves her. She’s only going to end up breaking his heart!

Me: He’s only getting his hole, for fuck’s sake! Maybe he just wants a ride. Men don’t always give a shite about all that love jazz, sometimes we just need to blow our muck all over a girl’s face, wipe our lad on the curtains, and fuck off home.

Cue a look of disgust that would silence a talking horse, followed by a vicious thump.

Linzi: Shut up and watch the tv, you imbecile.

Feckin women, always overcomplicating situations.

In other news, check out these losers. Hahahahahahaha.

Seriously though, that’s a shame.

Advertisements

16 Comments »

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

  1. All I can say is hell. Looks like the socks a bit too big for the sausage.

  2. Everyone says Grey’s Anatomy is worth watching… should I crank up the tube for it?

    Those Indian lads need to ate more mate… a rice diet can’t be good for the schlength of the schlong.

  3. Hee hee. That was a beautiful conversation. Loved it.

  4. your mott is right kav – george was in it for the luvvy duvvy stuff … tis true for you though – most women need a reason to have sex – men just need a place

  5. ams: The phrase “hotdog down a hallway” comes to mind.

    conan: The first half-dozen episodes I was subjected to, I could take it or leave it. It didn’t repel or anger me, (which is a good thing) but neither did it give me a “must see this” feeling. Then there were a couple of episodes with a bomb in it that I liked. Overall, I would say it’s marketed towards the female population (emphasis on “fe”), but it’s not completely abhorrent like some of the shit the ladies watch.

    debbie: You loved the violent abuse I am subjected to? I’m appalled.

    ramblingman: George is only a fool anyway. As long as it’s a nice place, I agree with you. Gone are the days where I’d seek out an outdoor shag in the pissing rain, or a bit of action in a club’s toilets (maybe I’ll blog about that one day). I want somewhere comfortable for shagging in my old age.

  6. Hahahaahahaha

    “Over 1,200 volunteers from the length and breadth of the country had their penises measured precisely, down to the last millimetre.”

    Naughty, naughty BBC.

  7. Jesus Christ — did ya read the difference in lengths?! 5-6 centimeters?! Jeezy feckin’ Creezy….
    Fascinating.

    OH! And I don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy but I can conclude, conclusively, that men and women are indeed, without a doubt, different.

  8. I just can’t get over the fact that everyone calls him Dr McDreamy. That is so gay.

    And note to self: Never date a man from India.

  9. Oh, what Meredith did to George was nearly unforgivable. Wait until next week.

    Sigh…. McDreamy. Love him. McSteamy ain’t bad on the eyes, either.

  10. How did the exam go?

  11. There’s another medical show with a masterbator called McCreamy – I think that’s hilarious!

    Welcome back Kav!

  12. Lolz @ Indians.

    <3 l33t

    I’m playing Dead Rising at the moment. We get to see a lot of grey anatomy, and it doesn’t get at all lovey and tedious.

  13. ‘Wipe your lad on the curtain…’

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love it!

  14. Oh Kav good to have ya back with yer love jazz, jizz curtains and money shots, you’re such a romantic.
    I’ve been commented all over the place on Indian willies and what they only sold extra jumbo before now? I don’t believe the study and think its a way to give them all a complex. It would of made a good blog post if measuring boners was yer job, I know mine wouldn’t be up to full strength if some bloke stood with his ruler and sneered at the size of me knob and said,”is that it?”

  15. bock: Hard to tell, boss. It was 200 questions with a 75% pass rate required. I knew about half of them for definite, and I had to make an educated guess for the rest, so who knows. Could go either way. Game of two halves. Etcetera.

  16. What good news! I need a man with a short penis. Thanks Kav! I’m adding the link to my blog.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.

%d bloggers like this: