Santa’s gone all PC.

December 19, 2006 at 11:15 am | Posted in family, nonsense, santa | 14 Comments

On Sunday, we took the kids to see Santa. Forget that it was a four-hour round trip for a five-minute visit, the important thing is that the kids enjoyed the magic of Christmas while they’re still young enough to not be embittered, cynical materialists. What got to me was the new policy Santa’s got.

The kids aren’t allowed to sit on his lap. That’s right, as a reaction to the high levels of pedophilia in the shopping-centre-Santa-Claus field of employment*, kiddies must now sit next to Santa rather than on his knee. As for infants, Santa can hold them, but only at arms length, in the awkward manner adopted by foppish British actors when handed a baby in delightful romantic comedies.

Here in the UK, they carry out disclosure checking on potential employees for all jobs involving children. My initial reaction when seeing this new restriction was to think for fuck’s sake, that’s going a bit far, is it not? Then the dad side of me kicked in and thought, I would tear the motherfucker limb from limb if I ever found he had been getting a horn from having my little girl on his lap.

Right now, I am confused. Is this a necessary step in helping to minimise the risk of sick fucks who (always will) exist in our society from getting their thrills? Or is it just another feckin band-aid on the festering wound of the real problem, the root of which is not being tackled in any meaningful way? The reasonable side of me is saying of course it’s the latter, but the emotional side of me is saying hell, anything to keep my wee girl protected.

*this is a completely made-up “fact”, but I imagine this is how the conclusion was drawn.

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  1. I don’t know if it’s that bad if kids grow up only ever sitting beside Santa – it probably helps retain that magic that such a mythical figure holds.

    And as for infants, do they even know where they are? Does Santa have to even hold them?

    The other stuff is that bad though.

  2. My young wan sat beside Santa for the chatter, but on his lap for the photo. I had no problem with this. He was a LOCAL Santa, you see.

    I think it’s going a bit far, personally. Do paedos really scour the papers looking for random and anonymous Santa oportunities, or are they most likely to abuse their nearest and dearest? I just don’t know!

  3. Here in the States, Santa isn’t allowed to touch the children. The parents place the kids on Santa’s lap and remove them.

    We live in a sad world, eh?

  4. maybe it’s because I don’t have kids that I think it’s over the top.
    Parents are there the whole time, aren’t they? They would know if they got a bad vibe from a rouge Santa.

  5. Looking at some of the Santas here might clarify the issue a little.
    http://www.southflorida.com/events/sfl-scaredsanta,0,2245506.photogallery?index=1

  6. I do tend to think we’re all just shy of wrapping our kids in bubble wrap before leaving the safety of the house. It does seem like a sick world at times, but sheltering them from EVERY LITTLE THING might be doing more of an injustice in the end. It’s a tough thing to balance…keeping them safe and yet letting them make their own way out there.

  7. Aren’t all Santas rouge, Amanda? It’s the uniform.

    SORRY! 😦 I’m mean and I couldn’t resist.

  8. You’re so sweet. *cuddles fatherly side of Kav*

    See, I don’t have kids and because I am one of those gobshites that thinks the best of people before the worst, I think it is a little over the top. It should be up to the parents I think. Nothing wrong with Santa’s Little Helper (an elf you effin eejit, not the dog from the Simpsons) asking mammy or daddy if little Johnny wants to sit on Santa’s knee, right?

  9. As far as I know the ‘police checks’ on people working with children or vulnerable adults, only check people who have a criminal record. I wonder what happens if they haven’t been caught and convicted yet.

  10. Band-Aid on said festering wound. Honestly that’s just silly. It’s not like Santa’s going to be alone with the kiddies, is he?

  11. Well there goes that avenue of employment.

  12. irish kc: Fair point. It’s really for the parents anyway, isn’t it? Kids don’t give a shite about Santa at that age.

    sweary: Yeah, that was my initial reaction. It’s a tad extreme, when you’re standing two feet away from them anyway.

    debbie: That’s really going overboard, isn’t it?

    amanda: I agree with you – I did think it was kind of going overboard.

    devin: I must upload the picture of Erin visiting Santa last year – I’m in no way biased but it’s far better than any of them…

    purplestew: Wise words indeed.

    sweary: You’re mean.

    pinkie: Agreed. And you can say fuck on my blog if you want, I don’t fucking well mind at fucking all.

    cyberscribe: No, my wife has had a number of jobs working with kids, and every time she’s had one, she’s had to have a disclosure check done. Of course, that doesn’t mean the check is in any way effective, but that’s another kettle of hamsters. Oh, and welcome, I think that was your first post here?

    sassy: You speak de troof, girl.

    old knudsen: You could always become a rogue Santa – set up a stall outside the shopping centre charging half what the main lads are charging. The poor and needy will flock to you.

  13. Kav, it was my 1st post cause of Mr T, he keeps giving me dirty looks.

  14. Don’t mind him, he spends so much time dispensing pity to fools, he hardly has time for the rest of us.


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