Smacked like a red-headed stepchild

January 11, 2007 at 8:59 am | Posted in it2m, italk2much, smacked | 35 Comments

Some of you may occasionally peruse the hilariously cruel italk2much site. There’s a reason my link to it in the sidebar says of the site “Get ripped to shreds from the comfort of your PC” – submitting your blog for appraisal is definitely at your own risk, and you are very likely to be lambasted on a whim. That’s what makes it funny.

A few months back, I submitted my own blog, and yesterday evening noticed that Charred got around to tearing me a new one. I got five grey smacks, which means “You suck”. Of all the “unpaid staff”, Charred was who I least hoped I’d get to do my blog, but who’s to say any of the others would rate any different than he did.

Anyway, check it out if you want a chuckle, and if you do dare to submit your site, you’d better have a sense of humour about it. Alternatively, you could take it seriously, go ballistic, and provide everyone with many hours of entertainment as you try to defend yourself against something essentially indefensible: personal opinion. Yeah, actually, go with that option.



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  1. They’re cunts who don’t understand Irish humour. What’s to not run over with a JCB?

    My poor brave kitten!

  2. Meow. In fairness, I have worse things to get annoyed about, like the stupid cunt on the train this morning who insisted on reading my book. I wanted to stab his eyes out with my pen, but I settled for sighing and turning towards the window. Didn’t stop him reading the cover though, the spazzy.

    The Church of Dead Girls by Stephen Dobyns. A reread because it’s damn good, Sweary.

  3. I actually read that, and that’s the kind of stuff I never read. T’was grand.

    Also, how weird must you have looked reading that on the train? Your “reader” was probably just getting a description of you for the coppers. Yes.

  4. Next time just swipe his mobile phone off him and start going through his text messages. Total dickhead. Happens all the time – newspaper headline scavangers about my shoulders.
    So, Irish humour, what’s that then? Bob Geldoff?

  5. Those cunts don’t understand anything.

    I think they’re morons. They don’t read your whole blog. They read a few posts and then they rip you apart when they have no clue what you’re about.

    Real reviewer’s read all of the content before they give their opinion.

    And you’re the shit!

  6. sweary: Mail me what you do read, when you get a chance. I found that site I was telling you about too. I’ll send it to you later.

    kieran: Yeah, one of the hazards of getting the train, I suppose. Still, at least I get a seat most mornings. Irish humour is mostly about leprechauns and red hair.

    debbie: I don’t think any of them spent longer than five minutes looking at my blag, but I don’t mind too much – they pretty much say upfront that they’re going to be biased, one-sided and unfair, so I knew what I was letting myself in for. Does that make me a sadist? Heh.

    Thank you for the vote of confidence though.

  7. “Smacked like a red-headed stepchild” oh god.

    Funny, very brave of you. I’ll do mine when I have something less self-obsessive at the top.

  8. Sir, there is no such thing as bad publicity. I would have come here to see if they were full of it or not because of how bad they say it is here.

    In fact, I need to leave soon as your blog is melting my screen with its stickiness. 🙂

    You should check to see if you have more hits because of their post. If so, you’re work is done here.

    Now you need to wear your badge of honor somewhere on your site. The whole thing is damn funny, so perhaps I won’t submit my blog as it won’t be entertaining unless I’m subversive about it and provoke them back for my own enjoyment. That sounds fun!

  9. You sooooo don’t suck.

    I loves me some Kav (yes the s at the end of love is intentional).

    Boooo Charred!

  10. Don’t mind those eejits. I love your blog, Kav – bit disgusting at times, but never dull, always good. My favourite post was the one about Rudolf and the other reindeer – I’m still laughing at that one!!

  11. annie: No, your self-obsessive hilarity is what makes your blonk great.

    howard: I’m a little disappointed at the stats, actually. There’s been a few visitors, but nobody’s given more than a few seconds glance. – hardly time to form an opinion. All in all, a wasted exercise. I probably should have been more ratty about it and called them cunts, but I don’t have the energy for all that jizzle.

    jali: Thank you. I noticed several of the haters (of me) over there have you and some of my other regular readers on their blogroll…weird how everyone’s interlinked.

    mairéad: Cheers missus. In real life, not everyone gets my humour either, so I don’t see why it would be any different on my blog. I have quite an odd sense of humour.

    Glad you find at least some of it entertaining though.

  12. That’s fine, but do the cunts who tear you apart actually produce anything original themselves? Or are they just uber-leechers?

  13. Having said that, and as there’s an element of drink involved, maybe I’ll just stick it in anyway and see what happens.

    The story of my life.

  14. Well, you said that if you had it to do all over again you wouldn’t share your name….

  15. Kav, you do kinda suck mate. It’s true what the guy says.

    Pray to baby Jesus for a better blog like mine. Mine is so much better than yours. Why? For one, it’s in english, no irish.

  16. As much as i love the bitches, they most certainly got it wrong this time. Why, didn’t i just name you in my top ten, and i know sooooo much about blogging and shit. Bahahaha!

    I love you. Anyone who doesn’t can’t have much of a sense of humour.

  17. Why didn’t ya just ask me? and no I won’t be submitting mine. I get told all the time I’m shite, so it must be true, ah well I must keep on trying.
    Yours is almost in English lad so I get some of it.

  18. bock: They do have their own blogs, though they don’t publicise them. They give you them if you mail them, I think. Did you send it in then?

    sassy: Touché.

    fuckie: “Hi, my name’s duckie, I’m from Cali, dude. I use Apple because everything else sucks. My kids are funny, and thank God for that because I’m not.”

    Ya big wanker.

    steph: Yes, that was a nice surprise, I must say. Thanks. You are like a beautiful lily in the daisy-patch of blogland.

    old knud: Your blog is the most multi-layered I’ve ever read. Each post demands repeated reading – no, not because it doens’t make sense, but because it has so many possible meanings.

  19. I did, in an ill-advised moment of weakness.

  20. If nothing else, it’ll send a few more folk your way.

  21. I like your blog too, man – the IT2M bitches/sycophants didn’t like mine, and I attempted to stand up for myself, make nice, etc. They don’t like me. Annie’s the worst – she’s OCD and it really shows because she brings me up when everyone else thinks it’s old news.

    However, really – they don’t have much in the way of humor besides the “you suck” thing and all the mutations therein.

    BTW, you don’t suck, and the most recent entry proves that to me. Please feel free to come over anytime, my friend…I have a good Western European mix going (english, welsh, scots, irish, french, german, dutch…)!


  22. They’re a bunch of wankers. My computer was acting up and I had to resubmit my details a few times. Here’s the self-important email I got from them. Can you believe the needy, puffed-up idiot who would write this?

    Dear whoever you are,

    If would please explain to me why on God’s green earth you felt the need
    to submit your blog FIVE times (in 3 minutes no less) for review?

    Seriously, we’re not exactly stupid over here and we could have figured
    out that you really want a review in just one email but no, you continue to submit over and over and over.

    Please explain or all of them will be removed as well as your membership
    to IT2M.


    I didn’t make that up. Mow what kind of sad child-man would write something like that?

  23. On reflection, I might use that as a blog for tonight.

  24. So anyway, here’s what I did.

    First I put their email in this Bock post:

    Then I posted that link at Blogg-Buzz,, Simpy, and Yahoo.

    It’ll make them famous.

  25. sudiegirl: I was kind of hoping for more input from the commenters, actually. Apart from a few, they just kind of ignored mine. Maybe I should’ve cussed them out of it and they would’ve paid me more attention – that seems to be how it works.

    bock: You’d think it’d be clear that there was some sort of problem with the interface if it happened within three minutes. You hardly did it for the laugh.

    Then I posted that link at Blogg-Buzz,, Simpy, and Yahoo.

    Pardon my ignorance, but how does that work then?

  26. I only stumbled on it a few days ago.

    Sign up to, which is a bit like You can then use it to post to all the others.

    They’d like you to post other people’s blogs as well as your own.

  27. Kav – I think they could tell that you really didn’t give a hoot about what they thought – you stood up, you said your piece, that was the end of it.

    Besides, I think their joke is starting to wear thin anyway – but I still like your blog and I have added you to my blog roll, so there!

    Guess I told you, huh?

    But I’ll be back – this is not a drive-by commenter you’re dealing with.

  28. Check out the latest development:

  29. “They’re cunts who don’t understand Irish humour.”

    That’s hilarious. I may be a cunt but to say I don’t understand Irish humour is a joke considering I’m married to one. Born and raised.

    It’s nice to see Kav can take what he expected with a shred of dignity. Some people submit their blogs and have a tantrum before they even make the list *whistle*.

    Bock, don’t get pissy with me because your computer fucked up. It’s nice to see you’re going out of your way to get us traffic. I haven’t seen a serious spike though. We went from about 1500 unique hits per day to about… 1505 unique hits per day but THANKS!! MWAH MWAH!

    Sudiegirl I think it’s very sad that ELEVEN months later you are STILL stalking down every single person who has submitted their site and leaving your toilet worthy opinions. If you think “our joke is starting to wear thin” why in bloody fucking hell are you back every single day? Every day! You are stalker extraordinaire, and a loser to boot. Your blogroll consists of nothing more than people you have stalked down via IT2M. Get a life honey.

  30. One more time now and it might sink in. It isn’t about me. It’s about you being a loudmouth and a bully.

    Do you shout at people face to face the same way or is it always from a safe distance?

  31. SudieGirl freak-
    You will notice, someone ELSE brought you up this time, it’s not always me.
    Although, for some reason, unsolicited by me, you occasionally come to my blog and have a complete mental breakdown, as exampled in the comments on THIS POST.

  32. Thanks for that link bock – looks like a useful one to have.


    I just noticed in their T&C’s, the first rule is “Content that is infringing, libelous, defamatory, obscene, pornographic, abusive, offensive or violates any law or right of any third party will be banned.”

    That’s me fucked before I start. Ah well, I’ll sign up anyway and see what happens.

    It’s nice to see Kav can take what he expected with a shred of dignity.

    Heh, well, I didn’t expect to get told I suck, but coming from charred, I’m looking at it as glowing praise, since he usually just gives the boot. Though there was that fucker last week who got one smack…

  33. I don’t think it sucks honestly. I mean it’s not my “style” but there is humor. The only thing I think really sucks is the template.. and some of your readers but that’s not your fault.;)
    Oh well.. mistake number one is assuming you’ll get a good “review”.. always expect the worst, then you might be pleasantly surprised…

  34. Come on now, my readers are the soundest people I’ve never met.

    Yeah, I hate my template too. I’ve tried my best to personalise it a bit, but my knowledge of html is scant, and I’m too poor to be spending money on such frivolous items as blog templates.

  35. Kav, you seem like a nice guy. Beware of Sudiegirl. She stalks everybody on IT2M & their reviewees.


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