Men are so much more efficient

March 9, 2007 at 11:03 am | Posted in family | 29 Comments

Was woken up this morning by a jab to the ribs.

“What are you wearing your good jumper in bed for?”

“I dunno, I was knackered, and it was dark when I went to bed. I forgot I had it on.”

“See, this is why all your clothes end up looking shite, Kav!”

“For fuck’s sake like, I’ve had the jumper since Christmas and it’s the first time I’ve worn it to bed. Chill out will ya.”

Luckily Jack piped up on the monitor at this point so I got to have the last word. She started up with the aggro a few minutes later, while I was ironing my clothes for today – a long-sleeve top and a t-shirt.

“What are you doing?”

“Um, duh, ironing.”

“Why are you doing it like that?”

“It saves time. I’m late for work.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

What a great opportunity for me to sing some EMF:

“Oh! din din did int din int dir nir nir, din din in din int dir nir nir, diddle int did int dint -I’m unbelievable! Woah!”

“Shut up Kav. Next time, why even bother ironing – just get straight out of bed and go to work, seeing as you’re already fucking dressed!”

She gets so annoyed when I wear good clothes to bed.

The reason she said I was unbelievable is because it got her all hot and bothered that I only ironed the neck of the t-shirt, instead of the whole thing. It’s under a fucking top, for god’s sake! Nobody’s going to see anything but the neckline! Why would I waste another two minutes ironing something that won’t even be seen? Why, I ask thee?

I just chuckle at her irritation, remembering that ten years ago, I wouldn’t have ironed any of my clothes, and I’d have gone to work looking like a clean-shaven tramp.

Have a good weekend.



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  1. Sorry I dont get it First why are you going to bed wearing clothes ? Is this normal ? Secondly Why were you ironing ? Left hand ring ….. see

    But Joking aside I agree if your wearing a tee-shirt under another item then it does not need to be ironed. You dont iron your boxers do you ….

  2. Ha ha!

    My friend’s older sister used to do exactly the same thing when ironing blouses/tee-shirts. She would only iron the top half because the bottom half would be tucked in her skirt/jeans and would get creased anyway.

    I always admired her logic.

    I now apply it to all my ironing. I never, every iron anything until I need it. I have this faint hope that by the time I come to wear the item of clothing, all the creases will have dropped out. I have a dress that I haven’t worn for about 18 months … it’s still creased.



  3. MacD: If I had my way I wouldn’t iron anything, but apparently I have to look “respectable”. I hate ironing even more than I hate vacuuming.

    And yeah, I usually sleep bollock-naked. It was cold last night though.

    I bet you’re sorry you asked now.

    Oh, and I don’t have a left-hand ring at the moment. Only married four years and I’ve managed to (a) lose my wedding ring and (b) develop an allergic reaction to my Claddagh ring. Until this situation is rectified, I’m stuck doing the ironing.

    Queen Minx: Excellent, I applaud your decision. And welcome.

  4. Sorry, you wear jumpers to bed????

    Don’t they have heating in Scotland? Is Linzi made of ice, like that hotel in… er… Iceland?


  6. Jumper: that’s a sweater right? Sounds really uncomfortable for sleeping. What were you thinking?! (Just kidding).

    I considered buying an industrial steamer like they use in clothing shops bcse I thought the sheer masculinity of a big steam-spewing machine might entice my husband to iron his clothes. But the freaking things cost a fortune.

    Have a good weekend.

  7. I abhor ironing too and not having an ironing board doesn’t help things!! I should wear a shirt to work everyday but its way too much hassle – its jumpers in the winter and fancy t-shirts in the summer.

  8. I’ve a buddy that has a 1 hour drive to work every day and his method is put un-ironed shirt on and after 1 hours body heat the wrinkles disappear!

  9. Ironing? What the hell is that?

  10. Like Quuen Mix, I let my clothes hang in my wardrobe hoping they will iron themselves out. If that doesn’t work, the go under my mattress over night. If that doesn’t work, I get my mammy to do it.

  11. Ironing? Thank God I don’t have to do anything like that yet. Luckily there are always a lot of scruffy people about Belfield, so regardless of what you look like, you fit right in.

  12. I don’t do ironing. If the T-shirt is really wrinkled I call it fashion. And I agree with FLUTT, clothes do tend to iron themselves out when you hang them in the wardrobe long enough.

  13. My mother used to iron a crease in her dusters.

  14. whyioughtta: Yes, is a sweater. That would be cool, a steam-yoke. I would iron if I could use one of them.

    ams: What makes a t-shirt fancy? Does it have gold sleeves or something?

    Tis me: Who’s thee? That’s quite a clever idea. I might try that.

    FMC: Quite.

    Flutt: That’s terrible to be imposing on yer mammy like that.

    Dario: Ah student days. I loved being in a state all the time.

    Nina: Fashion you say? It’s an alien concept to me.

    Sam: Christ, that’s dedication.

  15. Shouldn’t you be wearing old clothes to bed so she can rip them off you an not worry about having to sew any buttons back on?

  16. Naked, kim! Naked! That’s how I roll.

    Well, usually.

  17. I think is normal. If I had a wife, I would always go to bed with all my clothes on, in order to prevent accidental naughties.

  18. We avoid accidental naughtiness by having separate beds Manuel. Once a year, on Christmas Eve, we push them together.

  19. Student days? I wear a shirt about once a month for meetings with people who don’t give me money anyway.

    Ironing tops? Are you mental? Shake em, wear em, the body heat unwrinkles them.

    A then there are those great German shirts that are cotton but don’t need ironing. That’s efficiency!

  20. Conor, I admit I’ve been whupped into complicity by several years of cohabiting. It’s a habit now to iron my stuff, but I’m awful excited now about this non-iron clothing.

    Oh, and I’ve seen those blog award pictures – you might’ve at least gave your shirt a rub, considering the night that was in it… 😉

  21. You ARE unbelievable (oh, wow, that was my shake my ass song for a bit there—thanks for the trip). Here I was thinking that you were a sex machine, and you’re wearing jumpers to bed.

  22. I now know things about Flutt I never wanted to know…

  23. That shirt was straight out of the packet I’ll have you know. As were the pants. And the belly strap-on.

  24. When I have to stay in a posh hotel, I always wear a suit in bed. It just seems right.

  25. Would it have made a difference if you were wearing your bad jumper to bed? I can’t remember the last time I saw Mrs. Waring with an iron in her hand when it wasn’t being used as a weapon. She never irons fuck all. If I want something ironing I generally don’t bother.

  26. Sassy: Even sex machines need a rest you know…

    (going to bed all dejected because I know my cover has been blown. And not blown in the good way.)

    Sweary: Do you not think she should start her own blog instead of posting her sordid filth all over ours?

    Conor: Hmmm…where might I obtain one of these belly devices?

    Bock: The funniest thing is, I can imagine it with little effort.

    “If I want something ironing I generally don’t bother.” You’re a funny cunt Eddie. And I bet you don’t even realise it, being simple and all.

  27. Kav, I was just commenting! Like everybody else! Is this ‘pick on Flutt’ weekend or what?

  28. I don’t iron – I shake clothes out while their still hot from the dryer – that’s the very best it’s evah gonna ever get.

  29. That post really made me laugh.When Mr Is it Just me? and I met he had this excuse for the crumply state of his clothes..he called it bio-ironing..which when roughly translated into female speak meant he was to effin lazy to iron his clothes.I iron his shirts now and he’s a better man for it but I still nag hin about his clothes because no matter what gorgeous clothes he/I buy, if I don’t supervise him on days when he’s not wearing a suit he tends to look like he’s been styled by a blind homeless person.

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