March 9, 2007 at 4:31 pm | Posted in chat-up lines | 17 Comments

I just thought of a great chat-up line. Go on, use it this weekend. I know I will.

“So, (objectofyouraffection), I’ve got two tickets for George Michael*. After I give them to him, would you like to go for a drink?”

*anyone famous will do.



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  1. Ah, now I see what your company meant about your ‘strong contribution.’ Nice one.

  2. I’ve had four calls from agencies already today. I’m hot property! There’s no chance they’re just praising me because they desperately need their commission. I’m sure of it.

  3. Yeah, that one doesn’t work so well.

  4. NEVER EVER TRUST AN AGENT, IN ANY CAPACITY. They do just want your commission, and nothing else.

  5. I’d completely fall into bed with whoever used that one on me. Dear God, Kav. In letting that into the public sphere, have you any idea what you’ve done?

  6. What happens when the ‘tickets’ aren’t produced??
    Hmm … you haven’t really thought this through have you?!


  7. Good one. I must steal – em, borrow – it sometime. In fairness, I have heard Rob use many a line, his worst ever – he told me he actually used this once – was:
    (Pushes a girl to the floor and speaks in a authoritive voice) Aw man! Quick, I’m a doctor! Someone get an ambulance! I’ll loosen her clothes!

    That is smooth.

  8. Duuuude, why’d you pick George Michael? What year is this?

  9. Kav! I know you’re Irish but go and check this out. You live in the UK and as far as I can tell that’s all you need. They’re looking for British bloggers funniest posts to collect in a book to be published next week – the proceeds of which will go to Comic Relief. The deadline’s Wednesday so there’s not much time.

    I really think you should submit something.

    And other Brit bloggers too! Check it out.

  10. Thank god you are married. If you don’t enter that blog book I will TRACK YOU DOWN ! Unfortunately I haven’t been reading long enough to know your best but in my short time the first job was brillant.

  11. George Michael? You are so fucking gay!! 😛

  12. I think it’s brilliant. I will use it in the future.

  13. Best chat up line EVER is –

    ‘Are they space pants? Cause your ass is out of this world!’


    But seriously, it is.

  14. Sassy: The key to a woman’s chastity belt is through humour.

    Blarneyman: Heh, I know – did you not see the sarcasm? I’m sick and tired of them, but I’ve gotten used to dealing with them.

    Sweary: I know, it’s amazingly potent, both sexually and lyrically.

    Queen Minx: More importantly, what happens when she finds out I don’t know George Michael?

    Dario: Smooth, you say? A mate of mine (from Cavan, as a matter of fact!) used to pull out his cock to girls on the way home. Worked for him a few times too.

    Cindy Lou: I fear I’m forever trapped in the 90’s.

    Sam: Hmmm….I’ll post and see what people think. Very busy for the next week or so – might just ask my fellow bloggers.

    flirty: I think I know the post you mean. Most English bloggers don’t like me, I find. I’ve left comments on many, but few seem to respond. Probably because I say cunt too much.

    steph: No, if I wrote Robbie Fucking Williams I’d be gay. You are even gayer, being a fan of his.

    Annie: Use it wisely, my friend.

    Pinkie: That’s passable. I accept, and may use, it.

  15. […] little help? March 11, 2007 at 12:24 am | In blogging for charity, red nose day | Observe, a recent comment from Sam: Kav! I know you’re Irish but go and check this out. You live in the UK and as far as I […]

  16. Uhhhh, 90’s?

  17. Ok….(crickets)

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