Handy Bathroom Hints

March 11, 2007 at 1:18 am | Posted in poo | 10 Comments

Hint 1: Never use those plastic things that hang on the side of the bowl to make your toilet smell nice. If you do, your wife will one day unwittingly flush it down the drain, causing a horrendous blockage.

Hint 2: Change your bathroom light bulbs when they need to be changed. Otherwise, you’ll have to change the bulb while dancing on tiptoes, whimpering and clenching your arse cheeks together as you try to hold back a monster load.

Hint 3: Always remember to unblock the toilet after your wife has clogged it with one of those plastic things that hang on the side of the bowl. Otherwise, you’ll have to unblock the toilet while dancing on tiptoes, whimpering and clenching your arse cheeks together as you try to hold back a monster load.

I’m deadly serious. That’s the closest I’ve come to touching cloth for a long time.

Advertisements

10 Comments »

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

  1. “Touching cloth” sounds almost like a religious experience. I had a vision of you kneeling before the loo with the sun bathing you in sparkly golden light (disco!) and a lot of off-set people singing Aaaaaaaaah! for a long time (gospel!).

    Instead, the urban dictionary tells me…something else (dark music). Between Twenty’s felching and your touching cloth I feel like a whole world of New Slang (Benny Hill music)has passed me by since I’ve been in the States (O say, can you see music) Actually a whole new world of concepts I’d never suspected existed has passed me by, along with The New Slang (bewildered music! Like, erm, experimental cutlery music, or something).

  2. You sicken me.

    But for New Slang Week I’m going to have to come up with something a little more clever. You make me mouldy, or something. Even though locally that means you make me drunk.

  3. Did you not have a bucket!??

    wink!

    xx

  4. You have indoor plumbing over there?

  5. “Touching the Cloth” – wasn’t that a docu-film about a mountain climber lost in a glacier with no toilet?

  6. Yes, touching cloth does sound like something the Dalai Lama would indulge in.

    Then the true meaning hit me …

  7. What, pray tell, is “touching cloth,” or do I not want to know?

  8. Sassy, you don’t. I looked it up in the online urban dictionary. Foolish, foolish.

  9. Thanks, Problemchildbride. I think I’ll trust your judgment.

  10. Touching cloth is a family tradition don’t knock it. I love to see my bog water turn blue it makes me smile.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.

%d bloggers like this: